New Year, Facebook and the word fuck.

Dear 2011,
Thank you for not being as shit as 2010. Although it isn't hard to be less shit than 2010.
Dear 2010, fuck you.

People ask me what my 2012 new years resolution will be. Time doesn't exist. Time is man made, if I want something done properly, I'll do it fucking now. I'm sure I have a few things to change, most definitely. Stop swearing so much to begin with. I hardly ever swear in front of my parents. I'll let the occasional fuck slip out but they'll be in my face immediately about it. I can understand though 'cause fuck isn't the nicest word but it's brilliant. It can be a noun, adjective and verb. You can even split two words in half and add a fuck in between and it still makes sense. Best word ever? Emphasize how much you love that word by putting fuck in the middle. BEST FUCKING WORD EVER. Look how excited I am about this word.
I'm a cranky kitty. So I should probably finish this later.

EDIT:
For months I have been contemplating about deleting my facebook account and other such social networking sites. Maybe I wouldn't have to if I wasn't so addicted to it.

But what makes as person addicted to such a site? Is it actual interest in what other people are doing? Probably not. For some it maybe somewhere they feel they belong and are accepted because we all know how much easier it is to type out a conversation than it is to converse face to face. Also, how many people in your friends list do you actually know? If you're someone like me and only accept and add people I know, how many people do you actually consider a "friend". Do you really want people you don't even know seeing pictures and information of yourself? It makes me kinda paranoid. But I feel bad deleting people and I'm too lazy to make a new account. So the less information you put on your profile the better. Don't take a picture of your damn street sign and the front of your house. That's just asking for some surprise sex.

Wall comments and especially picture comments make people feel good about themselves. I can definitely relate to that. I love picture comments. I read an article briefly about profile pictures and the ones people choose for themselves are generally how they want people to see them as. Which is a very valid and fair enough point.
This is exactly how I look right now

No make up, no air brushing (not that I get much of that done on my modelling shots anyway ;D) and it looks as though my brain might as well be dripping out of my nose.

So, would you blame me if I wanted people to think I look like this all the time?

So I guess I could throw a heap of morals and stuff out there. Other people's opinions don't matter, so long as you're comfortable with yourself, whether you want people to believe you're something your not is probably not the best idea because you'll have to keep up some sort of act which will just keep getting harder and harder to maintain. blah blah blah It's really entirely up to you how you want the world to see you and if you want to put a car as your profile picture and make people believe you're a transformer, then I take my hat off to you, good sir.

If I were a kitty

If I were a kitty, I would look like this:

Obviously a black kitty but with straight long fur and a fluffy tail. I wouldn't look exactly like this kitty. This kitty looks a bit shocked. If I were a kitty, I would be a chilled kitty.

If I were a kitty, I lie on my back in the grass and sun myself. I would then roll around. Nobody questions a kitty when they roll.

If I were a kitty, I'd sleep where ever I like. I try to do this as a human but sleeping on top of the fridge or under the bed will be a lot easier if I were a kitty.

If I were a kitty, I would sit on the steps and watch people go by and laugh silently to myself. One day you all will worship me, all of you who don't all ready.

If I were a kitty, I would refuse to eat cat food. It makes me dry wretch as a human, it will make me dry wretch as a kitty. Biscuits are fine but I would like the chicken you're eating, oh and that mash potato looks good too.

If I were a kitty, I would have claws. I will try to sharpen them on the furniture despite the fact you bought me a $50 scratching post. I didn't ask for this scratching post. The furniture is just fine.

If I were a kitty, the places to sit would be endless. Your paperwork, magazines, clothes and keyboard/laptop are some of the most comfiest. You don't expect me to sit on the floor, do you?

The only problem would be if I were a kitty is I'd have to clean myself with my own tongue and do this several times a day, sometimes for half an hour at a time. Don't touch me just as I have finished cleaning that section of myself, I will have to do it over again.

If I were a kitty, I would hide in a place where only the dog next door will be able to see me. I would sit there and stare at it and the stupid thing will bark but to its owners it would look like it is barking at nothing and they will hopefully take that dog away. I will then jump over the fence and tip over the dog's water dish.

If I were a kitty, I would disregard the fact that you spent quite a lot of money on cat toys. The leaves outside provide hours of entertainment as well as anything else that moves. That includes your feet.

If I were a kitty, I would want to enter through the door, not through the window you opened for me. Once the door is opened, I will walk in when I'm ready. During this time, I ask for your patients because making the best entrance is very important to me.

If I were a kitty, I would not have a care in the world.

WARNING This post contains material that may offend who ever this is written about.

Hi, my name is Darryn and I'm a Subway manager at Subway. I'm really good at my job and I reckon I'm probably the best Subway manager Subway has had for a really long time. If not ever. I wear a different shirt to everyone else to show that I'm the manager. It's grey-t. That's one of the many jokes I have up my sleeve. Often I think about becoming a comedian but I don't think the world is ready for how funny I am. I'm a special breed of comedy so I give the people I hire the honour of listening to my jokes and they all love it. They even try to make jokes themselves but I don't laugh because they're not my type of jokes, so they're not funny. I can often be seen counting money and I own a safe key. There's only one other safe key like it so I'm pretty lucky. I also like giving compliments to James. When I go to leave the shop and James is out the front, I give him a quick "Keep up  the good work, James." and it makes his day.
I love my job so much I go in at 3 in the morning and get everything done before the first shift arrives at 5. They usually say, "Wow Darryn, you got everything done! What am I supposed to do now?"
and I said "It's okay, all for the good of Subway."

G'day, my name is Sharyn and I love Hugh Jackman more than anything else in the world. That is until I find something else that I like, but for now I'm his biggest fan. No one is allowed to dislike him and no one can like him more than me. Hugh and I have never met but as soon as I saw him in that movie where he had those knives coming out of his hands, I knew we were meant to be together. If you have a different opinion to me about Hugh, you're inhuman.
Things my obsession is more important than

- My immediate family

-Lawn mowers

-Trees

-Hydrogen

and everything else.

I own all of his movies and also have every picture of him that exists saved in a folder on my desktop. I also have a few pictures of him getting into his car on my Nokia camera phone. I know all of the information on his Wikipedia page off by heart and I have dedicated my personal Facebook to him.

If you like Hugh, but not more than me, add my Facebook. If not, you can stay away from my family.

My Twisted Depression

My life is pretty awesome to be honest. It definitely has it's ups and downs and isn't always smooth sailing but I really don't have too much to worry about right now....but then I still get really, really depressed. It's probably one of the most difficult things to explain and it's just as confusing when someone asks you what's wrong and all I can think of to say is "I don't know..."

I have always had trouble getting to sleep at night but when I'm sad, it's like I'm wearing those eye restraints in Clockwork Orange.

Especially on work nights do I just lie and stare at the wall or ceiling. It's not because I have to work, just the thought of getting up sometimes seems like such a strenuous task. But once I'm out of bed, decently dressed and around people, I change into this sort of wild child who basically finds everything down to seeing an insect as being a good start to the day.

Some may look at it as being a mask but I am genuinely cheerful. I'm also just not one of those people who likes to talk too much about their problems in fear that I'll come across as someone who complains about how miserable they are when there are starving children in Africa who would love to have my misery instead of theirs. Plus I don't like to get other people down with something that I should really be dealing with myself. When I say I'm fine, don't push me or I'll push you. Physically. and then I'll have to apologize and nobody wants to see that.

I love to preoccupy myself when I'm alone with music, books and 4chan. It's fantastic talking to people and reading things people, who are more miserable than myself post. I shouldn't really use the word miserable so loosely although if I don't really have a plan for myself I end up sitting on the couch with chocolate looking like this.

Should I get help? Well I'm on meds so just as long as I stay on those I won't look like 'someone has stolen my flock' as my mother puts it. If we had Thanksgiving in Australia, I would be thankful for my fast metabolism. I do actually have the most amazing friends and a loving family, as I said, it's a very difficult feeling and thing to explain but it's something I won't give up working on. But if I come across as cold, don't answer your texts, don't answer your message or wall post for a couple of days, I just have no energy to give a fuck about anything except where I'm going to get money for my next chocolate fix. WHO ARE YOU? GET OUT OF MY HOUSE? STOP INSULTING MY FURNITURE! It was a wedding gift, it would be rude if I gave it to Vinnies so soon.
Kay I'm done.